on asking for help

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There is quite a great deal that is new with Jill and I want to share it with you….I want to share it because I am so f’ing proud of her…but also we need some help for the next few months.

This is a hard thing for me to do; ask for help. It humbles me. Makes me feel weak to be dependant on someone else. I’d rather do it myself. I am pretty sure mum was the same – however, she was getting better at this. Here goes nothing.

Ok, the news…What to start with?

Good news or Bad?

The Good:

I have been calling and calling Long Term Care placement pleading our case in the hopes I could get Jill down to Yarmouth before winter comes. This would be a HUGE and very positive change for us. Think, 6 min drive, VS 45-60min drive (one way). Can you imagine?

Guess what?

It worked, Jill has now been classified as a P2 and is at the top that list - there are 2 P1’s ahead of her but I was told to not really think about them taking a bed away from Jill as they are higher care level. So mum is at the top of her list – sadly, this means someone will have to pass on for her to get the bed. So, there are no guarantees on time, but I expect we’ve done a majority of the waiting already. Top of the list! Hooray!

For months now, Jill has been attending physiotherapy 2-3 times a week with Remco in Roseway Hospital, Shelburne. The goal: Strength Building & Control.
That guy is fantastic – he pushed mum so hard-she absolutely LOVED it!

The result: Jill now has incredible control of her right leg, the best I have seen so far. She can walk (with aid of a cane)! She can only go short distances at this point but we all know Jill will work very hard on her endurance. She can place her right foot where it needs to be to turn around, and she is now paying oodles more attention to her right side! I have caught her looking out the passenger window on more than a few occasions now and there’s less bulldozing into things just to the right of her.

During the 3 days, I had her home for the hurricane she was able to pretty much walk the house alone – after Jill proved it when we left her unattended for a few mins and I returned only to come in and see her returning to the place she was seated! I scolded her, then gave her a high-5 because I really didn’t know we were there yet. She’ll still need to be supervised for a while but still, we are very pleased.

Last night we had our first sleepover at witsend and she kept on saying “No-no-no” to my offers of help. After all these months of helping it is hard NOT to help. She was reminding me I have to let go of the reigns a little - not unlike parenting - let her fly solo and test some boundaries.

When S was little, Mum used to say to me, “Parenting is an exercise in letting go”. This phrase sunk into my soul, it's so true, so gradual that sometimes you don't even know its happening. I still often repeat it to myself, and to friends, because it is sage advice

it is so hard for me to do…

So, I take a step back. I let her have her accomplishments – and failures…and I will be there for them all.

GO JILL, GO!

The Bad:

Last week I got a call from Remco, Jill’s physiotherapist. He’s quit Roseway Hospital and is discharging Jill’s case because she has “plateaued”, and according to the system here he has to let her go, UGH! This has been her one light. Now it is gone.

Remco told me he doesn’t agree with the system in this respect, he has seen people do really well – but if not given the time to practice – the skills get lost. We all know the system here is TOTALLY TAXED.

I am totally afraid that Jill will lose her newfound freedom.

GRRR not at him, his hands are tied, but at this fucking system!

Even he agrees, that she has more to gain because she’s willing to work.

GRR

TOTAL FRUSTRATION.

Here is where I make a plea for your help:
She needs to practice, preferably every day (I think I have the nurses onboard to let her walk to meals, but I am sure that will not be consistent given how taxed for staff they are). I cannot drive up there every day now that S is here in Yarmouth. Sooooo if you live close, or happen to be in Shelburne area, please think about stopping in if only for 10-15 mins and walk with her. This only temporary. When she gets here she will be able to continue with her physio, and also speech therapy.

Pretty please with a cherry on top!

**The one thing I would like you all to know if you DO go walking with her if she starts to turn her right foot in towards the left, she is tired and is more prone to falling. Just something to keep in mind.**

Thank you!
xo a

Update - I have a Monday, Wed, Friday volunteer - 10 - 1030am YAY!!!!

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